Disappointments.
In everyone's disappointment list, there ought to be hundreds of names. I guess it's human nature to always blame others for being insensitive, rude, hurting or unfaithful. People always choose to see themselves as innocent parties or victims of circumstances, so the conclusion is always, I'm so disappointed in ____, I'm hurt. It's amazing how selfish people can be, and how hard they try to protect themselves from being faulted.
But for me, my biggest disappointment is myself.
I know that sounds really cliche but really, as i was screening through my mind the people whom could have let me down, I found no one, except myself. I think all these years, no one has incur more pain in me than i did myself. My thoughts were killing me. Self-destruction! I believe that explains why i am in this situation call STUCK.
I thank God for Sat, it was an awesome sermon preached on disappointments. I thank God for his grace, by Him, I shall be free. free from the me that i hate, the me that is never good enough, the me that has been killing me. yepie.
1 comment:
Eileen,
Everyone has the tendency to set their own standard for themselves. Morally speaking, it is normal because you will be able to conduct yourself in a manner you deem as appropriate, pleasing and loving to people. Many people use this philosophy of life (conscience in another word) throughout their life to live.
But there's a higher reason for us not to live to that kind of lifestyle. Because in everything, human's way of moral living standard can never be compared to God's. Especially when we try so hard to be good, and yet at so many times we fail. Because we know that we fall short beyond a higher standard - that is of God.
So most of the time we do lament, and we complain. I am a victim of this myself too, and everytime I would not fail to feel like I am a jerk/loser/disappointment to myself.
However, knowing that you are incapable brings God into the picture stronger. In fact, its because we are a broken being, that God works in perfection in us as Christians. Remember David's prayer in Psalms 139? The sacrifice to God is a broken and contrite heart. It's when we know we are broken and incapable, that we offered and surrendered everything of us - even though we are incapable ourselves - to God. That surrender actually is a liberating action.
A bit long, but I do hope you are encouraged by this. :) by the way, have a nice week ahead. It's gonna end soon!
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